Socks and sandals: the fashion post

A couple of weeks ago I was out in Warsaw with my boss. We were at what I can only guess was our 37th bar of the night, probably on a similar number of drinks. It was a binge of visits in order to knock places off my “to see” list for the August guidebook, which is always more fun to do with another person than on my own. We were sitting outside on stools, and one of my flip-flops had fallen off my feet and was laying tragically on the pavement. Spotting the flop, my boss said, “What’s with…your shoes?”

My shoes? What? Boss was giving stinkeye to the flops, and asked why I wore them everywhere. I’ve always been a fan of the cheap flop. Obviously I’d go barefoot everywhere if I could, so flops are a nice plan B. I spend $5 total on my footwear from May-September, what’s not to like? I realize there’s flop backlash, but I don’t really care. I don’t have mangled hooves and I don’t inappropriately wear them to funerals. If it's good enough for every child in Asia, it's good enough for me. I think the real issue here is that I don't wear them WITH SOCKS like everyone else in Poland (see photo above).

Fashion is without a doubt the question I get asked about the most from friends in the U.S. Everyone pictures Polish women looking like Russian mail-order brides (they don't) and the men looking like meatheads (they do). In fact, 75 percent of the women here are dressed infinitely better than back home. Yes, there's a decent amount of stacked heels and *tiny* miniskirts, but on the whole you wouldn't be shocked.

And then there are the outliers and the baffling trends that make my head explode. I've attempted to take discreet pictures of the worst offenses.

Yep, that's shorts with tights. In the summer. The ladies here love to wear tights (and even nylons! goo!) all the time, regardless of the temperature and especially under their shorts. I've seen bare legs a few times, usually paired with shocking booty shorts.

If you were wondering who actually embraced the harem pants trend, I can tell you: every woman in Poland. You see pants like the ones above and a sort of bastardized Hammer pant quite frequently, often as vacation/beach attire.

Yeah, those are bike shorts that devolve into shredded leggings. I have no idea.

Jeans are subjective, obviously, and everyone has their favorite (or did until Banana Republic stopped making them. Sigh). But ankle elastic? I just...no.

Who does this bitch think she is?? Ok, just kidding. You see heaps of nuns on the loose around here, and all of them loooove the sandals with socks look.

I didn't want to be sexist and forget the men, so check this guy out: turquoise shortalls folded over and belted. Yep, you can see his unds.