Eating in Poland, or fluffernutters for everyone

That's what you picture Polish food to be like, right? Heaps of sausage, cabbage, potatoes, maybe a touch of lard thrown in for good measure. For the most part, that's fairly true; go to any Polish restaurant and your meat options will be extensive (duck and pork chops seem to be favorites) and one of the most popular soups is flaczki, which is basically a steaming bowl of tripe.

I don't make Polish food at home for several reasons. First, the grocery stores here still baffle me (I can't find pepper to save my life). Second, I don't really cook meat. Third, I eat out a lot for my job and find all my Polish food needs satisfied. And finally, and most importanly, because this is what my kitchen looks like:

Yep. It's basically two tile squares wide and probably four tile squares long. It's a coffin. It inhibits cooking of any kind, Polish or otherwise. When my friend Will was here we both attempted to make breakfast in there and it was ridiculous. Also, it has no oven. It's not conducive to frying an egg let alone constructing elaborate and meaty meals.

Four months in I haven't had any hardcore cravings for food from home (probably because I brought my own peanut butter with me, and just bought real maple syrup while I was in London). But yesterday I decided to check out the famed Kuchnie Świata (that's World Cuisine to you) store, which stocks food from all over the world and is supposedly the crutch all ex-pats rely on for their cheetos and Dr. Pepper. The store is organized by country, and I couldn't help but wonder who would actually miss this:

Haggis in a fucking can? I'd leave Scotland to specifically get away from that shit. The American section wasn't all that impressive -- Aunt Jemima syrup (the fuck? no real maple syrup? Thank god for London), marshmallow fluff, Swiss Miss hot chocolate, Pop-Tarts, Bisquick...sort of a snapshot of everything that's wrong with us. So what did I buy? Homegirl loaded up on refried beans, salsa, soy sauce and FINE, I cracked and bought a Dr. Pepper. I doubt I will be a regular Kuchnie Świata shopper, but it's nice to know if I ever have a code-red need for a fluffernutter sandwich there are resources.

The place that really hooks me up in Poland is Marks and Spencer. It's a British retailer that, at least in Poland, is 90 percent department store and 10 percent a tiny food shop. Wikipedia calls it "luxury" food, but it seems like pretty normal stuff to me, and it's retarded cheap. The Poles have not embraced canned soup -- it's all add-water-to-this-powdery-envelope over here -- so if you've got a cold and want your basic chicken noodle Marks and Spencer can get it done. They also sell pasta, sauces, tea, oatmeal, obviously heaps of tea and 'biscuits', etc. Who do I have to talk to about getting stores in the U.S.? Note: despite the photo below, I have not purchased or eaten the oxtail soup (yet).